[Please, how many times did he catch you over-doing it. He knows you. He knows you've probably been practicing here in the short time you've been in the Grove.]
I... [Ah, he falls quiet, and then a huge wash of shame comes over him.] I will admit that ...I have been yearning for the stage.
[But it's almost too hard to admit the next part.]
But I thought I had lost any right to that part of my past, and so ...I have not practiced in some time except for somewhat recently. I fear my skills have atrophied.
Why would you lose the right to your dream..? We... Hiro-kun was the only one who went into being an idol without knowing what it was, for the rest of us we... it's what we strive for. What motivated us. We all had our reasons, so... you are still allowed to be one? I won't let not being home stop me. The others would want me to perform.
[ He is very certain of that. Even if it would hurt without them there, carrying on is important. ]
Well even rusty you're probably better than me, so it's fine! We can get better together.
[There are a lot of reason why he thought that. He already felt like an unworthy creature reaching for a light not meant for him. He persued it anyway, in his own self-proclaimed arrogance. Then, to do what he had done, to die and fail, and then to awaken here had felt like some kind of divine punishment. Or, that he had been stripped of his old life, that he had best embrace his new one, for there would be no return home.]
[So, to keep it from hurting too much, he had placed his idol self in a little box in his heart and locked it away.]
[But now...That lock is threatening to shatter, and his heart wants to burst free.]
...The others. [That too, hurts to think about.] Yes ...I think, they would be quite cross with us for giving up. [They would not be mad, he knows this. he knows they would be full of sympathy for whats happened to him, but that's almost worse.]
Alright, let us do our best together. I hope that I will be able to catch up to Aira-san's skill and that ...you will not be too disappointed with mine after all this time.
[ He misses the other two dearly, but... it's important to him to move forward. It's important to him that they help who they can here with their music, because gods know they could use the reprieve. ]
I'm not going to be disappointed. Like I said, even rusty you're probably better than me.
[ He just thinks that highly of Mayoi's skill. That and if he went into it thinking he'd be better than Mayoi and got shown up, he'd be endlessly embarrassed. Better to keep his ego low. ]
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no subject
[Please, how many times did he catch you over-doing it. He knows you. He knows you've probably been practicing here in the short time you've been in the Grove.]
I... [Ah, he falls quiet, and then a huge wash of shame comes over him.] I will admit that ...I have been yearning for the stage.
[But it's almost too hard to admit the next part.]
But I thought I had lost any right to that part of my past, and so ...I have not practiced in some time except for somewhat recently. I fear my skills have atrophied.
no subject
[ He is very certain of that. Even if it would hurt without them there, carrying on is important. ]
Well even rusty you're probably better than me, so it's fine! We can get better together.
no subject
[So, to keep it from hurting too much, he had placed his idol self in a little box in his heart and locked it away.]
[But now...That lock is threatening to shatter, and his heart wants to burst free.]
...The others. [That too, hurts to think about.] Yes ...I think, they would be quite cross with us for giving up. [They would not be mad, he knows this. he knows they would be full of sympathy for whats happened to him, but that's almost worse.]
Alright, let us do our best together. I hope that I will be able to catch up to Aira-san's skill and that ...you will not be too disappointed with mine after all this time.
no subject
I'm not going to be disappointed. Like I said, even rusty you're probably better than me.
[ He just thinks that highly of Mayoi's skill. That and if he went into it thinking he'd be better than Mayoi and got shown up, he'd be endlessly embarrassed. Better to keep his ego low. ]